Pattaya News Flash
No, it's not Johnnie...
It's not Johnnie
it's NightWalker's shadow.
Breaking News
April 1st 2010
Click here to read our regular News.

Do you know?
Do you know why the dresses of Pattaya's ladies are so short?
Smile Thailand's clothmaker are manufacturing one size fit all only and believe that all Thai ladies are 140.25cm high.
But please don't ask me why the skirts of Pattaya's small ladies are too short too!
My lady says Pattaya's girls are always short of money and can't afford clothes made from larger fabrics.
TiP (This is Pattaya)!
Previous Publications
Pattaya News Flash April 1st 2010 - The Source
NightWalker's News
from Pattaya, the City of (n)everlasting Beauties.
NightWalker recommends
GoodFellas Swiss Mafia presents its Coyote Dancers
Pattaya is launching an all new advertising campaign
Pattaya goes back to its Basics.
I Love Pattaya
Itthiphol Kunplome (or Khunplome or Khunpleum, please choose what you like the most...), the Mayor of Pattaya, said during his latest briefing, that Pattaya lost millions of Baht and thousands of tourists from its campaign to attract whole families as visitors of Pattaya. With the exception of Russians, the expensive campaign couldn't attract the target group of customers. It was a complete flop, a real disaster and a waste of money our Mayor explained.
Therefore, Mayor Itthiphol Khunplome (or Kunplome or Khunpleum, please choose what you like the most...) said, Pattaya decided to go back to its basics and will rediscover single men as its tourists.
With the new advertising campaign we will attract all men between the age of 20 and 90 years, no matter if they are hetero- or homosexuals, prefer ladyboys or any other activity.
Pattaya's new campagn is neutral, Mr. Itthiphol said. It attracts all kind of men from all kind of countries - and Pattaya's new campaign is more eyecatching than any other publicity campaign we ever started, City Mayor Ittipol Khunpleum (or Itthiphol Khunplome or Kunplome, please choose what you like the most...) said.
Pattaya's new promotion will bring hundred thousands of new tourists to Pattaya and will give work to ten thousands of Thai people from all over Thailand, Pattaya City's beloved Mayor Ittipol K. promised.

Pattaya's new advertising campaign is a brainstorm of Rainbow Production Switzerland, NightWalker, Freddy Cocquyt and iFarang. Copyright ©2010 April 1st Inc. The ingredients are freely available in and around Pattaya for less than 200 Baht, but the idea is priceless.
TiT is replacing Google in Thailand
The End of Googling...
Google out of ThailandInspired by the success of China's ousting of Google, Thailand's Prime Minister announced that Thailand will launch its very own Internet Seach Engine today.
TiT ( will work similar to Chinas BaiDu and will ignore all internet sites promoting Democracy, Human Rights, Education and Thaksin Shinawatra.
Education is a privilege of Bangkok's Elite, Thailand's Prime Minister said. The rest of the country does not have and does not need any significant education. Bangkok's Elite and its Military have to be in control of the country, the thinking and the understanding of Thailand's citizens and their brain(s).
We - not Google - know what's good for our country. Google supports the western way of thinking and its unpractical democratic ideas.
The western style of democracy is an unacceptable threat to Bangkok's Elite and the Thai Military and is not applicable in Thailand, not today and not in the future.
Google is misleading Thai people and brings unwanted unrest to our country.
'We need to preserve our nation's interest, our people's interest, we cannot be relaxed with any information that will cause harm to the stability of our society, to our system, and to the health of our under-age young people. So, of course, what needs to be shut down will be shut down, what needs to be blocked will be blocked', Thailand's Prime Minister said.
Foreign firms could face unprecedented competition from homegrown companies if they do not adapt to the transitional Thai society. We welcome foreign firms as long as they abide by Thai law dictated by the Thai Military, he added.
Therefore Thailand's Government decided to replace Google's search engine with Thailand's own TiT-engine. TiT (This is Thailand) speaks Thai and is thinking the Thai way. The new search engine supports real Thai only. Words introduced by westeners are not supported. Therefore it does not know - not even accept - words like Bribe, Tea Money, Corruption or Prostitution, simply because this words are completely unknown in real good old Thai language.
Starting from today TiT will replace Google in Thailand, Thailand's Prime Minister said.
If you type into your computer anywhere in Thailand will come into action and will replace Google's search engine. Happy TiTing!
Background information:
On February 5th 2010 Mr. Li Yanhong, the CEO of BaiDu, and 220 managers from Chinas internet giant paid a 2 days visit to Jomtien's Royal Cliff Resort.
According to an official information the group relaxed most of their time and enjoyed the spectacular views over the Bay of Siam...
Successfully Tests
City Hall found an easy (and cheap) way to double the lifespan of its benches along its beaches.
Successfully Tests
If the benches don't get used, the seats lifespan will be doubled at least. Pattaya will save millions of Taxpayer's Baht.
To test the reaction of Pattaya's visitors, City Hall installed 2 stinky trash dumpsters in front of a popular bench at Jomtien Beach, opposite to the entry to Jomtien's famous Soi 5.
The test was an unsuspected success, a spokeperson from Pattaya City Hall said. Almost nobody used the seats in front of the containers, but everbody used the containers to dispose the garbage.
Therefore City Hall decided to install these stinky trash dumpsters in front of almost every single seating place along the beaches of Naklua, Pattaya and Jomtien, the representative from Pattaya City Hall said.
No Need for Surgery
New Set of Teeth
New Breasts
No matter what you need, a new set of teeth, a replacement for your breasts or a new face, at the Southern end of Walking Street, a few meters from Soho Square, you can get it all for a few Baht only and without feeling the pain from a surgery.
New Faces
Copyright Law
Thailand doesn't want Farangs are listening to its stupid Thai Songs.
If a bar plays Thai songs the venue has to pay a copyright fee to G-MM, Thailand's largest music producer.
If the club plays western songs only it can play them free of charge.
But in both cases the venue has to pay an entertainment fee to City Hall, even if you have to entertain yourself...
The word Massage seems to originate from Massacre on Aged People.
iFarang™ ©2010
Experts predicted disasterous election results for Berlusconi's party.
The contrary happened to Italians Prime Minister: An unsuspected victory!
Never believe in experts.
iFarang™ ©2010
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